This post will be a little different from my normal writing, but I wanted to share something that I’ve recently run across and am fascinated by it and its impact.

I found this in a blog post recently in regards to website development and all other articles that mention it seem to be mirroring one another and there isn’t a lot of differences or additional information expounding upon it (that I can find).

What I have learned, I’ve tried to connect to human behavior and more importantly, that of young people. I’m referring to what is being called Interstitial Anxiety.

Interstitial Anxiety is the temporary anxiety that we feel during the delay between when we request an action and receive a response.

In other words, when you click on something online regardless of device (i.e.-computer, phone, tablet), we have been programmed to expect an immediate response.

When that doesn’t occur, we actually feel anxiety.

Now, that anxiety can be played out in a couple ways. We either press the back button and look for another alternative, or we click refresh.

Either way, our impatience causes an extra action and we will probably stay away from that site, article, etc. in the future.

I realize you’re probably not a web designer or you realize how impatient our society is and you are wondering why you’ve continued to read this far.

Thanks for sticking with me.

Here’s my conclusion after contemplating this issue with the fact that our children are being exposed to media and technology at a younger age.

While those things are not completely horrible, for years now, we’ve been reaping the bad side of social media and too much technology.

The Dallas News wrote this article in June of 2016 about the effect social media is potentially causing among kids today as it pertains to increases in suicide.

One of the causes listed in that article is bullying which is a hot topic amongst kids, even my family has witnessed it.

Technology and social media are going nowhere except into more and more places.

As we advance in technology and expand the social aspect of it, we have to be prepared for the ramifications.

It’s gone from enormous machines capable of being housed only by large facilities into the palms of our hands.

We’ve graduated from computers being a business upgrade to a personal, in-home computer to a way to connect instantly with anyone across the world over the internet.

As the social movement, driven by the rise of Facebook initially, began to take over our storage space, we realized it met an innate human desire – connection.

This connection, however, has unfortunately turned a lot of people into narcissists.

I’ve even been guilty of hoping a pic or post would garner an extraordinary amount of attention with likes, comments, or shares. My level of disappointment is nothing compared to what a narcissist or a child will endure, though.

If we’re “gifting” our children with smartphones and access to platforms of sharing (i.e.-Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, etc), we’re setting our families up for problems.

I’m not advocating that you’re a bad parent if your child has a smartphone.

I realize there are certain family situations that may necessitate your children having a smartphone during this time of their life. Plus, it’s your prerogative as a parent.

What I am saying is that if adults desire responses and can experience anxiety if they aren’t getting the attention they are seeking, this is magnified in the life of a child.

Their bodies are going through changes that are downright scary, their hormones are causing wild mood swings, and their minds are trying to figure life out because of all the challenges they’re facing from every direction.

The connection factor as we just mentioned is being integrated earlier into the lives of our children, they are experiencing what they know as a new normal – share, share, and share some more.

Sharing is not bad, however, the link to interstitial anxiety with the impact that seems to be having on us individually can be life threatening.

You’ve probably seen or been a part of this scenario –

I bought a new outfit and I want to show it off.

I take out my phone and snap a picture.

I post it on Instagram with the needed 1,000 hashtags. (Sarcasm alert)

The moment I click post, I nervously wait for the app to show it loaded successfully.

Once I (finally, that took 3 seconds!) see that it has posted to my account, I anxiously click refresh an infinite number of times.

My first like! It took longer than normal (15 seconds) but it’s there!

All day, what do I do?

Check back to see how many more likes and comments I have so I can know who likes me, I mean, my outfit, and so I can respond with some small measure of humility to those who commented. I mean, how was I supposed to know people would love it? (wink, wink)

That’s a good day.

What happens when the likes and comments don’t come?

The interstitial anxiety isn’t kind to us on this day.

It plays out much different and we won’t like how that scenario looks so I won’t detail it, but you understand where I’m going.

So how can we protect our children from this danger?

Here are 5 ways I propose we implement in order to combat this.

 

1. Wait as long as possible to reward with a smartphone

 

As we have already discussed, I realize there are certain situations that may require a phone earlier than some. However, wait as long as you possibly can for this reward.

Not only will it cause a greater appreciation for what they have, but the later they can be exposed to the addiction that people have to their devices, the better.

I know they start begging when they’re about 7 years old to get one, but don’t give in, stand your ground.

Just like a job or work which my mom told me that I’d have for the rest of my life, phones aren’t going anywhere, there will be plenty of time to enjoy one, just not right now.

 

2. Limit their time on social media

 

If your children are at the age where they have cell phones, either limit the social media they are able to have on it, and/or limit their time on each platform.

There are apps you can use that will let you control the time they are on the phone or on certain apps, so implement that.

If you’re paying for the phone, be a parent and if need be, take the phone from them so the temptation isn’t there.

The last thing we want is our children addicted to their devices if we can prevent it.

 

3. Limit YOUR time on social media

 

There are so many times where my children want us to take a picture of something silly they are doing and the next words out of their mouth are “Post that on Facebook so people can laugh!”.

My children are all under 13, so how are they aware of this at a young age?

Part of the reason is that as parents, we need to do a better job of limiting our own time on social media.

This article is not designed to put additional measures in place in our kids lives only, but as parents, we need to be the model for the behaviors we want to see in them.

If we can implement these measures in our own habits, then it’ll be easier for our children to create good habits themselves.

 

4. Make time for your kids

 

In conjunction with limiting time on social media, it’s past time that as parents and a society, we start putting the emphasis back on where it belongs in life – family.

We complain about being too busy, too tired, that there aren’t enough hours in the day, and those things are definitely a reality.

Sometimes we lose focus on what’s important in our pursuits and neglect those that matter most.

If we are able to slow down, intentionally MAKE the time to spend with our children, then we’ll show them the correct way to create relationships.

Being able to interact face to face is a practice that is slowly fading in our society. Fix that in your home.

 

5. Provide your children with the adoration they need

 

If we go back to the reasoning behind all of this anxiety in the first place, it’s because as human beings, we have an innate longing for acceptance, love, and connection.

If our children are receiving that at home first, where they should be, that part of them is not sitting empty and needing to be filled.

This is especially true if you are a parent of girls.

I’ve had to learn, and am still learning, how deeply important it is to women to have the adoration of their parents, but especially their fathers.

Don’t be guilty of thinking they know how you feel, express it.

Often.

It might be a little awkward at first if you don’t have that type of relationship with your daughter or son for that matter.

But start today.

Do little things that slowly over time break down walls and remove the uncomfortableness of affection being expressed.

I realize they receive a different type of acceptance from their peers, but if we’ve lead them correctly in the home first, modeled proper behavior, and reinforced that with quality time spent with them and an open door to conversations, then we’ll avoid a lot of mistakes that are being made.

 

My wife and I have already started on this list before we even knew about this interstitial anxiety because we have seen how dangerous a lack of boundaries can be.

Yes, we’re still working on it and no, we’re not perfect.

Don’t expect the same from yourself. Just be intentional about making a change.

Are you ready to commit to leaving the “what if” behind in this area of your home and creating a better home?

 

What did you think of this subject? Was it applicable to your family? Comment below, I’d love to get your feedback!